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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380562">Milk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxrcasticxl/pseuds/sxrcasticxl'>sxrcasticxl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BLACKPINK (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a hopeful ending?, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Drug Use, F/F, Jennie Needs a Hug, Jisoo Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:01:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxrcasticxl/pseuds/sxrcasticxl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>inspired by “milk” by the 1975.</p><p>jisoo struggles.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jennie Kim/Kim Jisoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Milk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi! <br/>just a warning that this is going to contain heavy drug use and mild swearing so if you’re not comfortable with that, i suggest you don’t read this story.<br/>with all that being said, i hope you enjoy the story!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"for how long are you going to keep doing this, jisoo?" the brunette exclaimed at her best friend frustratedly. "for how long are you going to waste your life away like this?" she muttered quietly this time, looking down in devastation.</p><p>jisoo just looked at her with red eyes yet again and shook her head slowly. "j-jen, look, i know you don't like it, but-but i'm trying, okay?" the other brunette whispered and looked down at the mess she's made on the table.</p><p>white lines. at least 5 of them, all there, looking at her as if inviting her towards them. </p><p>"how much have you had, unnie? your nose is bleeding again..." jennie pointed out disapprovingly.</p><p>"that was purely an incident, i swear. it's not- it's not because of... of it." jisoo looked at jennie with wide eyes. jennie could already see it. that distant look, hazy and uncertain, as if in another universe. maybe her mind is on mars, maybe saturn, but somewhere far away for sure. </p><p>"you're doing it all the time now. you promised you'd stop. you said you don't need a support group, because you'd stop on your own, for me. what happened, jisoo? please tell me what is bothering you, because i can listen and i can help, but drugs can't. drugs will only lie to your mind and make everything worse." she said harshly, inhaling sharply through her nose after her speech. jennie reminded herself to stay calm and level-headed. hell, one of them had to be at least.</p><p>"jennie, you don't understand! i can't- i can't not have it, i just- when i see them stand there and hate my guts and then spew it on the internet and, and i just- i can't take it anymore! the only thing that takes the thoughts away is this!" jisoo exclaimed angrily and then chuckled bitterly. "besides a couple of lines won't hurt. i just- i need to unwind." she slurs and leans down towards the table again, but jennie grabs her shoulders harshly and pushes her backwards.</p><p>"YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT!" she shouts and when she sees jisoo flinch from the noise she lowers her voice but still keeps it harsh. "you always say, a couple of lines won't hurt, only a couple of more, and yet you do it all the fucking time! you're addicted! you're so addicted it makes me sick! and i can't ignore it anymore... jisoo, fuck, what if our fans find out about this, huh?" she continues her aggressive rant.</p><p>"and not those ones that pretend they're fans and write those terrible terrible comments, no jisoo, the real blinks, the ones who love us so fucking much, the ones chanting our names every concert we do! they'll be so disappointed!" jennie finishes and runs her hand through her hair angrily.</p><p>that seems to have affected jisoo in some way, because now she's simply looking at the messy table with glassy bloodshot eyes that reflect a perfectly broken universe. </p><p>"you need help and you need to face it." jennie said finally and stood up to leave.</p><p>"wait." jisoo grabbed the other brunette's elbow while she was passing her by, stopping her in her tracks. "don't go, please. i'm sorry. i'll clean up, please, just-" she paused for a moment to take a shaky breath. "just don't leave me with my thoughts."</p><p>jennie stared at her for a few seconds with a deep and longing look until she looked down and gulped. she could feel tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. </p><p>"okay. yeah, okay." she mumbled and sat down again in front of the dining table.</p><p>she sat like that in silence for some minutes while jisoo was cleaning up the awful mess. her heart felt extremely heavy in her chest while she avoided looking at the brunette walking around the kitchen. </p><p>after the table was taken care of, they both found themselves sitting in an uncomfortable silence. </p><p>jennie broke it first.</p><p>"jisoo, it kills me seeing you like this. it physically pains me. please, i beg you, get professional help. you don't deserve this way of living. rosie and lisa don't either. neither do i. we deserve to be happy, together, to chase our dreams. so please, give yourself a try. there's always a solution..." as she says this, once again something heavy settles in her throat.</p><p>"i love you so much, i can't bare to see you destroy yourself. you know sajangnim can keep it under wraps to get this fixed, everything can be hidden and you can get better. just please-" jennie cut herself off as a quiet sob escaped her. </p><p>she really did love jisoo. ever since they were trainees, she felt it, she fell in love with that charming smile that is so incredibly jisoo it burts and her silly nature and all her stupid jokes and charms. how could she not? and now that all of that has went away, swallowed down by a white substance separated in lines on the table in front of her, she still found herself loving her unconditionally. her heart hurt along with jisoo's because she's connected to her by an invisible thread and always will be.</p><p>jisoo looked at her as she heard her cry and guilt started eating up her insides in a terrible way. she stood up and quietly went over to the sobbing girl, hugging her tightly. </p><p>"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry." she mumbled and found herself crying along with the beautiful girl in her arms.</p><p>then and there jisoo decided that if what she's doing hurts this incredible angel, the girl she cares most about in this world, then she truly is a monster. she despised herself and that deadly substance flowing in her veins for hurting jennie, for making her shake in her cries like this.</p><p>she also thought of her members. her lovely chaeyoung and lisa. those two innocent babies that always looked at her with such deep worry everytime she decided to lock herself in the bathroom with a gloomy look. she thought of their scared gazes all the times when she went out of the bathroom with bloodshot eyes and a spaced out mind. somehow, those thoughts make her cry even harder and feel even guiltier.</p><p>she pulled away slightly from jennie's embrace, enough to cup her cheek with her hand and look deep into the other's broken gaze. </p><p>"jen," jisoo started. "i'm going to get better. i'm going to seek out help. for you, and for lisa and chaeng. i promise, i swear on it. i'm not going to try to deal with it alone this time."</p><p>and the hopeful look that jennie looked at her with, allowed her to finally breathe without feeling thorns wrapped tightly around her lungs.</p>
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